Today I thought I’d do something different, share something different… And combine personal stories with relevant issues. So many people I speak to feel unhappy, but where does that feeling come from? And more importantly – do we have reasons to feel like this?
I like to read, and I like to write. That’s why I figured I’d give this a shot… 🙂
A question that follows would be “why do we feel like underachievers” and I plan to discuss that next time.
Fear of Failure
For me this is a very relevant topic as I’ve had fear of failure for most of my life. When you have fear of failure you are not only afraid of failing, you might also be afraid of not living up to expectations of others. You might feel like you are not doing enough compared to other people in the same age group. I’ve been thinking about this a whole lot, and I’ve tried to “uncover the mystery” so to say. Sounds pretty cool right? Like a 2016 detective but then… Different. Anyway, I get distracted already!
The first step to understanding these life questions I found in articles about our generation – Generation Y. This article for example cleared up a whole lot for me. I’ll summarize it for you, in my own wording.
Everyone grows up with certain expectations. The circle starts with our grandparents: they grew up in difficult times, times of war and hunger and this is what they taught their children – our parents. Our parents were always told that life was difficult, that only working very very hard and having success would bring them some happiness, but in general: life is tough.
So, our parents grew up with this expectation of life. They were told they were not special and only those who worked the hardest would succeed in life. However, their lives were way easier than the lives of our grandparents. There was no war, economies flourished and the world was in a better place.
Our parents expected the worst, but found out life was way easier than they were told: this created some sort of “surplus”.
Now, we’re the next generation or Generation Y. We grew up with very different expectations than our parents did. You can see this as a “hippie mentality” if that makes sense.
Our parents told us life was easy, and that we were very special. We grow up thinking it’s all going to be fine because we’re one of a kind!
Well, guess what. There are many people like us on this world and even though we mean a lot to the people we meet: we are not as special and life will not come easy unless we work for what we want.
Generation Y expects life to be easy but finds out it is way harder than expected: they are not as special as they thought and have to work just as hard as everyone else. This creates a “shortage” of expectations.
You see the line going on here? When you expect little, you usually end up very pleased because there’s more than you thought there would be. When you expect a lot, you’ll most likely be disappointed because the results are not as high as you hoped they would be.
I’m guessing that’s what I usually feel. I feel like everyone else is succeeding, “living up to their expectations” in a way, and that I am not. No, let me phrase that differently: I feel like I am behind on fulfilling the expectations. Like I have to work very hard to get where I’m supposed to be. If that makes sense.
No wonder I have fear of failure 😉
But that’s not because my surroundings, mind you. My friends, family and boyfriend are all way too kind. They never make me feel like I am not yet where I should be, I’m the one who tells myself that. Not so smart, ey?
That’s it for now, if you have any thoughts feel free to let me know 🙂 I’m curious how people feel about this blog. I don’t even know how I feel about this blog yet haha.